Weaponized Incompetency…
Even now, on my second marriage late in life, I must rewash thedishes my husband washes.
I experienced weaponized incompetence (also called deliberate incompetence) even before I knew the terms.
I was married, working full time as an RN in a hospital when I fell over a rolled-up rug left on the opposite side of a closed double door. I broke my ankle. I had to use crutches. We had a toddler who seemed to recognize my limitations, taught herself to get out of the crib and even began to potty train herself. Unfortunately, her father was not as bright (or maybe he was really smart).
On one of the first days after my fall I asked him to fix supper, it was a disaster. He made French fries with olive oil, causing a lot of smoke in the kitchen and a not pleasant taste.
Standing on my crutches in the kitchen, I told him, I would just do it. I pushed a chair next to the counter, propped my painful foot on it and started a meal prep. He said, “I knew I could get you to come out and cook.”
Since we did not have a washer and dryer, I worked the 3–11 shift and we only had one car, he would dump the laundry in a garbage bag and drive to the laundromat. He would dump the dry, clean clothes back into the bag, unfolded, to bring home. I spent the next day before going to work ironing and folding everything. I finally…
